Oh my goodness. Let's start at 3 am, the crying from our 2 year old twins begin. From something as simple as a foot not being under a blanket, having to potty, laying sideways in the bed and not coherent enough to turn themselves around. We get them resettled in to bed. Then husband gets up for work around 7. Which means the kids are up, and unfortunately, so am I. I go in to their room, which has a baby gate on it, otherwise NO ONE gets sleep. We don't have the regular door on, because the kids use it as a weapon against each other. We keep little potties in their room, because for the most part, they are potty trained.
One is screaming because she wants her underwear, the other is screaming because he doesn't want to get out of bed. Even though he is the one that woke up first. Then there is a struggle getting him out of bed, because I can't just bring my daughter down, they have an invisible rubber band attatching them. Where one goes, the other follows. If I take her down, she screams for him. So we have to wait until he decides he wants to come down. Then there is the potty fight. "My potty, no my potty" ensues. I'm already wondering why I even got out of bed. They sit down for 5 minutes or so. Just long enough for me to settle in to my chair and look online. Then 2 screaming kids come running up, "breakfast breakfast", no please, no thank you, nothing. Just screaming. After a pointless lesson in manners, they get their breakfast. I put towels on the floor to keep the mess contained, except somehow the cereal falls everywhere BUT the towel. Figures.
After breakfast they tune in to Noggin or Disney. Which keeps them calm for maybe 30 minutes. Then they see the toys. Oh boy. The fun begins. "My toy, no mine, MOMMY!!!!" then a blood curdling scream. My son has bitten the crud out of his sister. Enough that draws blood. I'm yelling at him to go to time out, but she thinks I'm yelling at her. Next thing I know, all 3 of us are yelling.
After a couple of minutes, my son is out of timeout, hugs and kisses his sister and apologizes.
All of this, and it's not even 9 am yet!
Things settle down when I show the kids, "look, your grandparents got 2 of the same toy, you don't have to fight over it" which seems to work. For a little while.
More fighting. "I want dinner!!!!" What? It's only 10 in the morning. Although I wish it were dinner time, that much closer to bed! But it's not. Snack time it is.
My boy, the savage beast, devours his snack, but my girl hasn't even eaten half of hers yet. He doesn't understand that she had the same amount as him. She is just slower. So he starts screaming at me because she has "more". It's impossible to explain logic to a 2 year old. I give up.
I have tuned them out. The TV has become their babysitter for the time being. Have I showered, brushed my teeth, had any time for me, nope. I have learned that my hygiene has become the lowest priority. Do I care anymore, I don't have TIME to care.
Just for fun, let's throw in a trip to the store...with 2 year olds. We head out, as a good friend said, we're out the shooting gate, like a herd of turtles.
I get one dressed, meanwhile the other screams. I get the 2nd one dressed, but now the 1st one is screaming to use the potty. They don't just pull pants down, they want nothing, no socks, pants, shoes, etc. on their legs when they potty. So, we start over.
Finally we are out the door.
I get them in to the shopping cart (hopefully, if we're lucky, we can find the little car or spaceship gorcery carts) if not, we are doomed from the start. For the sake of time, lets assume I have found a car grocery cart.
Things go well, I was lucky enough to find a cart that the seatbelt straps actually still work!
There are 2 steering wheels (occasional fighting when they want the same one).
Check out. See, I never learn. To help appease the children during shopping, I give them some item I am going to purchase anyway. Except, when I get to the cashier, I have to take the item away. Which leads to more screaming. The cashier has pitty on me, and gives the item back.
Now, at this store, you aren't allowed to bring the car carts out. So I have to pull the kids out, screaming. They still want to play.
So now I am having to drag 2 screaming toddlers out of the store. Yes drag. They refuse to walk on their own, and I can't pick them both up anymore.
We get home. I start unloading groceries. During the many trips up and downstairs, I can see the kids getting in to the groceries. Bread is getting smashed, the watermelon has become a bowling ball, and the grapes are being consumed. Good thing I stocked up on them.
It's finally noon. Lunch time. They see I am preparing lunch. I tell them I am making lunch. Yet they scream "I want lunch, LUNCH MOMMY!!!" Another pointless lesson in manners begins.
I get them settled in to eat. Wow, silence! It's a miracle! I get online again. My only real escape.
After 20 minutes, the kids run up...they both have to use the potty at the same exact time. This twin thing has gone way too far. I get one on the potty, and hope the other one can hold it long enough for me to race them up the stairs for the other bathroom.
Pee is dribbling down the legs. Figures.
After potty, it's nap time!!!
My absolute favorite time of the day for me to be alone. Assuming they actually take a nap that is. So we begin the process. We have to seperate them for naps during the day, otherwise it's a sure thing they won't sleep.
I get them settled down, and thanfully they fall asleep.
Now, it's ME time. I could take the time to shower, shave, maybe even brush my hair for the first time today. I am too tired to do any of it. Only, I don't have time to relax. The house is a disaster.
The cleaning begins. How the heck did a cheerio get stuck to the ceiling?
After a couple of hours of cleaning and finally eating my own lunch, I get to use the bathroom, without children congratulating me for going potty.
I then make the biggest mistake in the world. Why did I do that, I knew the outcome. Why couldn't I have waited??? Why on earth...WHY did I flush the toilet?!? The screaming begins and kids are awake.
It's around 3 pm. Husband should be home soon.
The same routine from when they wake up in the morning. One refusing to get up, but screams if I leave the room, etc.
I get them downstairs. They have become leaches. I take the time to just sit on the couch and cuddle. I do love my children afterall. Things are peacefull. Each one is snuggled up next to me, and I am doomed to watch the same crazed childrens show on Noggin. You know, the kind where they sing the same song, over and over. So instead of having some cool grown up song in my head, I have "keep trying, keep trying, don't give up, never give up" maybe it's a subtle reminder for ME to keep trying.
Daddy comes home...FINALLY! Some days they run to Daddy and I can get some stuff done, like, oh, maybe make some dinner. Other times, they want nothing to do with him, so he's stuck making dinner, good thing the kids love Mac'n'cheese!
We all sit down to dinner together. I actually love that time. We can all sit together, sing, talk about our day. All while the kids are munching away. For the most part, the kids are really good about eating. There are those days, where I work on dinner for 2 hours, and they won't even touch it though. Days like that I don't know why I even bother. Kids can survive off of PB&J sandwiches and Mac'n'Cheese can't they?
After dinner my husband and I trade off. One of us gives the kids a bath, while the other cleans the dishes.
Bath time involves the one giving the bath getting just as wet as the ones in the bath. Too bad it doesn't clean the clothes, that could save me time on laundry!
After their bath and the kitchen is clean, the kids come down stairs and play. By this time, they are usually very happy.
You see, I get the kids when they are at their worst. By the time my husband gets home, they have calmed down. Making it seem like things couldn't have been that bad while he was at work...OY!
Finally bed time, for the kids anyway. It's now 8 pm. I have survived another 13 hours with the kids.
My husband and I lay in bed with the kiddos and sing their favorite nursery songs. The ones that inevitably get stuck in your head. The children are calm, and exhausted. We kiss them good night.
We head downstairs, where I am able to catch up on the message boards, facebook, and blogs.
Then hubby and I spend some time cuddling on the couch. That's our only time together. We watch some of our favorite shows on TV, and then head to bed.
We're too tired for anything else.
Next thing we know, it's 3 am and kids are screaming...
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